


5 times Atsila ran away and 1 time she came back

by Azuresky2468



Series: Misadventures of Atsila Romero [1]
Category: Infamous - Fandom, inFAMOUS: Second Son
Genre: 5+1 Things, 6 Things, Angst, Five Plus One, Hurt/Comfort, Other, all of her friends are willing to be there for her, atsila doesn't know how to emotion, she needs a lot of help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 09:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17180240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azuresky2468/pseuds/Azuresky2468
Summary: Eli and Al belong to my friend DarthnebAtsila feels like a burden and doesn't know how to handle negative emotions but her friends know how to help her out.





	5 times Atsila ran away and 1 time she came back

**Author's Note:**

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1\. Delsin and Reggie

Atsila filled her backpack with the few belongings she had scattered about the empty house. Its inhabitants having gone out for a little while to run errands. After being sure she had everything, she left a note, and she walked out the front door and didn’t plan on looking back.  
She made it into Seattle on her own without much of a problem but she wasn’t sure where to go. Ever since Delsin got rid of the DUP the whole dynamic had changed. The Akuran weren’t as abundant, neither were the drug dealers. However, that meant she didn’t know where the ones that were still around held their base. She used to know where every unsavory type liked to hang out and she could easily avoid those places. Now, it was dicey going down any alley, strays could lurk anywhere.  
She decided to go see if one of the homeless communities she used to stay at was still around. She needed to find somewhere soon since it was getting dark out.  
As she walked she pulled out her phone to see she had several missed phone calls from Delsin and Reggie. She sighed opening her voicemail and listening to the messages.  
“Hey Atsila, it’s Delsin. Was just wondering where you wandered off too. Betty is gonna have dinner ready soon so you should hurry back!”  
“Atsila, it’s Delsin again. We’re starting to get worried. Where are you? Call me back.”  
“Hey, it’s Reggie, if something happened let us know. We can try to help in any way you need.”  
“Hey found the note you left. What is this supposed to mean? Call us back.”  
“End of messages -” Atsila hung up the phone with a slight eye roll. Worried? She’d been gone less than 24 hours, not even her parents bothered being worried when she was gone this long. But, she did feel a nagging in the back of her mind, telling her she should at least call them to tell them to not worry about her.  
However, instead of calling she shoved the feeling down where she couldn’t feel it anymore and continued walking. They were better off without her she didn’t need to be a burden to them any longer.  
‘Don’t think about them any longer and they won’t have to think about you’ She reasoned with herself as she approached the homeless community under the bridge. Except there was nothing there. The community was gone.  
“Great,” she sighed looking around trying to figure out where to go. As she turned to head back the way she came headlights hit her causing her to bring her arm up to block them.  
“There you are!” Came a familiar voice and suddenly Delsin was in front of her.  
“Do you have any idea how worried we were?!” Reggie yelled coming up behind his brother. “And what is this?!”  
Reggie held up the note she had left, “I don’t want to be a burden any longer? You were never a burden! We let you stay with us because we wanted to not because we thought it was some charity act!”  
Atsila stared at the two like a deer caught in headlights.  
“You came searching for me?” Was all she could utter.  
“Course we did,” Del responded, “we’re family now”  
He wrapped an arm around her and dragged her to the car, “come on the rest of the family is just as worried as we are.” 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2\. Eli  
Two weeks after her first attempt at running away Atsila was getting antsy again. No matter how many times they told her she wasn't, she felt like a burden and a bother. They just recently started leaving her by herself again. Eli and Al had been reluctant to leave her alone but with Reggie’s coaxing, they finally stopped hovering.  
That was their mistake Atsila thought to herself as she once again was walking the familiar road to Seattle.  
Seattle had felt like a home to her for so long but now it felt so foreign to her ever since the DUP set up shop. Constantly having to check over her shoulder, always ducking down alleys anytime she felt like she was being watched, everything felt so wrong. She had hoped with the DUP threat gone that it would go back to feeling like her home but instead, it felt as foreign as ever. She had no idea where to go or what to do and most of her old hangout spots had been vacated.  
It was around midnight when she finally decided to just go to a bar and figure out what to do. She had shut off her phone as to avoid seeing the frantic texts and calls she was likely receiving. She sighed as she sat at the bar and ordered a drink. She stared off into space as she sipped her drink ignoring the world around her.  
Thirty minutes before closing someone large sat next to her silently. She knew who it was immediately without having to look up.  
“Hi Eli,” she said quietly turning toward him. He nodded to her then glanced at the various glasses that sat in front of her, raising his eyebrow.  
“I’m not drunk if that’s what you’re asking, just self-medicating is all.”  
Eli placed a hand on her shoulder giving it a reassuring squeeze.  
“Eli, do you think I’m shitty?” Eli shook his head no, “All I do is laze about the house and then feel bad then I run off. That seems shitty.”  
Again Eli shook his head giving her another shoulder squeeze to reassure her. He then nodded his head toward the door.  
“Do I even really deserve to go back to everyone? I’m sure they all think I’m just a brat and hate me.”  
Eli stood up nodding for Atsila to do the same when she finally did he pulled her into a bear hug.  
“Why is it for someone who rarely talks you’re one hell of a negotiator,” Atsila asked when he finally released her from the hug. They started walking to the door but Atsila stumbled slightly.  
“Maybe I’m a little further gone than I thought,” Atsila giggled leaning against Eli.  
Eli stopped for a moment before picking the girl up.  
“Oooh, Eli nooooo. This is embarrassing,” Atsila whined hiding her face in the crook of his neck and that’s how they showed back up at the house. Everyone instantly flocked to the pair, all wanting to make sure Atsila was alright for themselves. Eli wouldn’t let Atsila down until they were all done poking and prodding and questioning her. As soon as her feet touched the ground she was gone, hiding somewhere. But they were all fine with that as long as she was home and safe. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
3\. Delsin  
Atsila hid around the house more often than not lately. Hoping that by hiding, her friends might forget she's even there. It would make leaving a lot easier.  
She sighed as she sat on a bed in a room they claimed was hers. It was their attempt at trying to make her feel like this was her home. It just made her feel more guilty, she didn't deserve a room, she didn't deserve a family. So instead of making the room hers, she never unpacked her bag, and she waited a month and a half before trying to disappear again.  
This time she left in the middle of the night, out a window. Again, however, she had no idea where to go once she made it to Seattle. She wondered if she should try going to a different city but Seattle was the only place that ever felt like a home to her.  
‘Not the only place,’ a voice nagged at the back of her mind. Atsila shook her head dismissing the voice.  
‘that's not important right now, right now we need to get off the street.’ she reasoned with herself looking around the dimly lit street. It made her anxious being out at night but it was the only time people weren't checking up on her periodically.  
She knew they were still building the parking garage over in the lantern district so she decided to go there.  
Once there she climbed the large crane they had constructed and sat in the little control box. The view was gorgeous up there and she could stay up here for a long time with no one bothering her.  
Or she could stay up there for about 3 hours before a whoosh above her woke her up suddenly. Perched above her was Delsin. He jumped down into the control panel with her.  
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Delsin questioned his voice barely above a whisper. He was staring at the ground and his fists were clenched.  
“Delsin I-”  
“No!” Atsila flinched back at the outburst, “Is this some kind of game to you? Does this make you happy? Huh? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?” Delsin shouted finally looking up at her. Atsila had never seen Del look so hurt before.  
“No, I-”  
“Then why do you keep running off like this? And don’t give me that being a burden bullshit!”  
“I-I don’t know, Del! I’m lost! I don’t know what I’m doing anymore! I don’t know what’s wrong!”  
“Then let us help you! You don’t have to go through this alone! How many times do we have to bring you back before you understand that?!”  
“I’ve always gone through things alone! It would be better for you guys to just stop worrying about me! Let me do this by myself!”  
“We’re your friends! We’re allowed to be worried! Do you know how much it hurts us to notice that you’re missing? The pit of worry that always accompanies the realization. Or are you too much of a selfish brat to care?!”  
“If I’m such a selfish brat why do you even care?!”  
“BECAUSE SOMEBODY FUCKING HAS TO,” Delsin shouted his words echoing through the quiet city, his hands shaking, “you can’t go through this world thinking no one cares. You can’t just leave anytime you feel lost. You’ll never find yourself that way. You can’t just keep it all inside, bottling it up won’t do you any good. Atsila, you have to let yourself feel things.”  
Atsila trembled as she stared at him, her chin quivering as she held back tears.  
“Please, let’s just go home.” Delsin pleaded and Atsila could hear how exhausted he was and it hurt her to be the one to have caused it. She felt so conflicted and she just wanted to sleep and forget this happened. So against her own wishes, she nodded and grabbed Delsin’s hand. Delsin squeezed her hand and held onto it the entire time back to the house, afraid that if he let go she’d disappear again. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4\. Al  
Atsila sat on the railing of the deck of the house with her knees against her chest and her hoodie over top of them. It had only been a few days since Delsin had found her on the crane and yelled at her. She knew it was because he was worried about her and upset that she kept disappearing but she still couldn’t stop thinking about the things that were said.  
Was she really just being a selfish brat? If she was, why did they bother putting up with her? She wasn’t worth the effort. No one ever bothered putting in an effort for her, not even her parents. Then there was the fact that every time she left it hurt her friends. For her to hurt them that would mean they had to care. She found it hard to believe, no one cared when she disappeared.  
Atsila sighed letting her legs swing over the side of the railing before she jumped off. She needed to move around. She needed to stop thinking.  
…..She needed to leave. Her response to anything negative was to always leave. Ignore it and push it away and eventually, the feelings will stop.  
‘You can’t just leave anytime you feel lost, you’ll never find yourself that way.” Delsin’s words echoed through her mind. She shook her head pushing the thought away.  
She walked down the driveway to the main road. She looked back at the house wondering how long it would take them to notice this time. She turned back around and suddenly Al was standing in front of her.  
Atsila jumped taking a step back bringing her arms up in a defensive position.  
“Al! You scared me!” She whined folding her arms, pretending like she wasn’t about to just leave again.  
“Sorry kiddo,” Al chuckled, “You look tired, everything okay?”  
“Yeah I’m fine,” Atsila lied, she hadn’t slept in three days and it was very obvious from how she looked.  
“Where are you going?”  
“On a walk,” Atsila replied looking away, crap they were good.  
“Mind if I join?” Double crap!  
“I kinda just wanted to be alone right now,” Atsila’s eyes flitted to Al’s before looking away again.  
“Okay, call if you need anything.” What?  
“Okay, thanks,” Atsila said as she walked past them. She looked back at Al for a moment and they waved at her. Atsila nodded at them before picking up the pace a bit. She couldn’t run off now, Al was definitely onto her. They had to know she was trying to leave just then. Or maybe they didn’t. They didn’t stop her which she found odd. Maybe they didn’t care if she left? No definitely not Al had been glued to her side the first time she had been brought back from running off and only stopped when Reggie asked them to.  
Atsila sighed as she reached the road to Seattle. She couldn’t go there. It wasn’t the same and all it did was make her hurt more. So, she stepped off the road and started walking through the forest that was on either side of the road. Maybe she could just live out here? No a wolf or something would come by and think she was a snack.  
She could at least sit out here until she felt like going back to the house. If she felt like going back to the house.  
When she was satisfied with how deep she had gone she decided to just sit in a tree for a while. With the help of her powers, she climbed pretty high and nestled herself in the branches of the tree. Fall was quickly becoming winter and her shorts and hoodie were not gonna cut it but she still wore them every day. There she sat for a little while assuming the same position she had on the porch; knees to her chest and hoodie over top of them.  
That was how Al found her 10 minutes later. They deftly propelled themself up to where Atsila was perched. Atsila wasn’t surprised they had followed her just mildly annoyed.  
“Hi, Al,” came the quiet grumble from underneath the hood of Atsila’s jacket.  
“I know you wanted to be alone but, I was worried about you. Don’t think you should be alone right now though.”  
“I’m fine, Al.”  
“Is that why you keep running off? Because you’re fine?”  
Atsila fidgeted in her spot unsure what to say.  
“Atsila you’re showing a lot of worrying signs. We’re all concerned for you. I’ve been where you’ve been, you can talk to me.”  
“What does that mean? Worrying signs?”  
“For mental illness, like anxiety and depression.”  
Atsila shook her head letting her hood fall off, “Betty said that was a historical event, I can’t have depression.”  
“What?” Al looked at Atsila confused, “Do you not know what depression is?”  
“It’s when money didn’t work or something and everyone was poor. I don’t know I don’t like history but Betty insists on teaching me it. What does that have to do with this?”  
“Honey that’s not the depression I was talking about that’s the Great Depression. Depression is a mental illness where, well, a wave of different emotions hit ya. Sometimes you'll be sad, sometimes you won't really feel anything. It can get you at any time and there's no real way to predict it other than a distant feeling of dread because you can feel yourself getting sucked back into the depths and it can't really be fought.”  
“Oh,” Atsila looked at Al, “Maybe I do have something like that,”  
“Yeah, sometimes it can help to talk about those feelings. Would you like to try talking about your feelings?”  
Atsila shrugged looking down to the ground, “I guess.”  
“Let’s go home okay? We can talk there.”  
“Okay.” 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
5\. Reggie

Atsila paced in her room wondering what she was gonna do. It was almost 2 am, she hadn’t slept properly in a week, and all she could think about was what she and Al talked about a week ago. Al explained what depression was to her and also told her that the way she was behaving had a lot of warning signs for depression. Isolation being the biggest warning sign Al had mentioned. However, Atsila had no idea how to cope with her emotions and the only thing she really knew how to do was isolate herself from everyone so that she could just pretend like everything was okay.  
What made her want to run away right now was all of the information Al had given her made her feel like she was broken.  
“Your emotions are just more fragile than others, so we just have to be real careful with them and we need to help you understand what your feeling since you haven’t been taught how to deal with any of your emotions.” They had explained to her but, the more she thought about it the more it sounded like she just needed extra work, that she wasn’t useful like this, that she was broken, that she was a...burden.  
Her thoughts quieted down when she thought about herself as a burden. Reggie told her the first time she had run away that she wasn’t but she didn’t really believe it and now with all of this new information about mental illnesses she just felt even more like a burden.  
She just wanted to disappear, to stop hurting her friends, to not feel any of these negative emotions. She felt like the walls were closing in on her like she couldn’t breathe. She fled her room, running downstairs, out the front door, and into the snow-covered yard.  
She choked on a sob, she hadn’t even realized she had started crying, and she crumpled to the ground. Rocking herself back and forth trying to stop thinking. Thinking about how she felt broken, how she couldn’t do anything right, how all she did was hurt her friends, how she was just a burden. She needed to get up, she needed to leave, she needed to disappear.  
Atsila choked on another body wracking sob as she tried to catch her breath, tried to slow her thinking. Anything to stop feeling this way, she brought her hands up pressing the heel of her hand into her head before she started pounding them into her temples.  
“Shut up!” She screamed out loud, everything felt like it was in slow motion but also speeding by her and her thoughts were spiraling out of control.  
She could hear snow crunching and someone yelling or maybe they were whispering all she knew is she couldn’t understand what they were saying and it made her cry harder.  
Suddenly there were hands on her shoulders and she looked up to see Reggie on his knees in the snow. Dark eyes full of concern looking her up and down.  
“Atsila, what’s wrong?! Why are you out here?! It’s too cold for you to be out here in just a t-shirt and shorts!” Reggie was frantic not like his usual self, it was scaring Atsila.  
“I-I, I don’t know!” She sobbed, “It hurts! Reggie, it hurts so bad and I don’t know why! And it won’t stop!”  
“Hey, hey, look at me. You're probably having a panic attack. Breathe with me for a second, okay? In. Out. In. Out. In. All the way out. You can do it. Good. Better?”  
Atsila focused on breathing feeling the cold air fill her lungs. She nodded when Reggie asked if she was better.  
“Good, let's get inside before you freeze.” Reggie said standing and helping her up, “Did you come out here without shoes on?!” Reggie questioned noticing her bright red feet. Atsila nodded, looking down at her feet, the tips of her toes were turning blue.  
Reggie quickly scooped the girl up into a bridal carry and hurried back into the house. He set her down on the couch quickly dusting off the snow she had accumulated on herself. He then draped a blanket around her shoulders.  
“I'll be right back,” he told her before quickly running off and coming back with a pair of thick wool socks, “These should help warm your feet up.”  
Once she was bundled up enough to make Reggie stop fretting, he kneeled in front of her.  
“Wanna tell me what caused all of that?”  
Atsila bit her lip, tears threatening to spill over again.  
“I don't know, I was just thinking about what Al and I talked about last week and how I'm broken,”  
“I doubt Al told you that you were broken,” Reggie interrupted fixing her with a stern look.  
“Al said that my emotions are more fragile than mentally stable people, which made me feel like I was broken,” Atsila corrected playing with her fingers, looking away from Reggie.  
“You're not broken, your parents didn't give you the life skills to deal with negative emotions. So you have to start from the bottom and work your way up.” Reggie helped explain, “What else were you thinking?”  
He grabbed her hands and rubbed his thumbs over her knuckles.  
“I, uh, felt like a burden,” she said quietly.  
“Can you tell me why you feel like a burden?”  
Atsila paused looking hard at her and Reggie's hands.  
“Because I'm a selfish brat, who hasn't done a single thing to help you guys since Augustine was taken down, and now I apparently have mental illnesses I guess which makes me even more useless!” Atsila shouted the last bit frustrated with herself.  
“Look at me.” Atsila raised her eyes to meet Reggie's, “You are not useless, you helped Delsin through Augustine, which I'm extremely grateful for, and mental illnesses don't make you useless. You just have to learn to live with them and eventually get better. And we'll be here with you every step of the way. Just because you haven't done anything since Augustine doesn't make you useless either. None of the others have really done anything either, did you know that? They all sit around waiting for something to do too. So don't beat yourself up over things you can't control.”  
“I don't understand all of this mental illness stuff though. I didn't even know you could have anything like that until Al told me.”  
“What did your parents do if you ever felt sad for extended periods of time?” Reggie asked, wondering how she grew up without even knowing what depression was.  
“Crystals,” Atsila responded simply.  
“Right, of course,” Reggie shook his head.  
“Okay well instead of crystals, if you ever feel sad or upset or like a burden I want you to tell me and we can talk through it, okay? No more of this running off stuff, got it?”  
Atsila reluctantly nodded, “okay I can do that.”  
“I want you to know that if you ever need anything, every single person in this house will sit down and listen to you okay.”  
Again Atsila nodded.  
“Good now I don't know about you but I'm tired, come on you can stay in my room tonight, I don't want you being alone when you’re in this state.”  
Atsila followed Reggie to his room where she would get her first restful night of sleep in over 2 weeks.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6\. One time she came back 

Atsila sat at the dinner table kicking her legs gently as she stared at her untouched food. She pushed is around gently with her fork.  
“You aren’t going to eat?” A voice asked directly behind her causing her to jump and twist around to see Betty.  
“Ah, I’m not really hungry right now Betty,” she explained with an apologetic look.  
“That’s what you said at lunch,” Betty responded her hands moving to her hips as she fixed Atsila with a disapproving look.  
“I’ll eat later, I just want to lie down right now,” Atsila slipped out of her chair and fled upstairs before Betty could say anything else.  
Atsila sighed as she leaned against the closed door to her room. She glanced around the room feeling like it was slowly shrinking in on her. It was suffocating her, she needed air, she needed out of this room. She glanced around the room getting more frantic before she walked over to the window, opened it, and climbed out. She pulled herself up onto the room hoping it’d be okay enough. She was fighting the urge to run away again but the urge was strong and screamed in her head.  
“If you ever feel sad or upset or like a burden, I want you to tell me, and we can talk through it,” Reggie’s words echoed in her head. She was upset she should go find Reggie, but she couldn’t go back inside the house. She could just push the upset away and go on a walk pretend it isn’t there.  
“You can’t keep it all inside, bottling it up won’t do you any good,” Del had told her, it felt so long ago that she was standing on the construction crane in Seattle, upset she couldn’t find a home there any longer. But she didn’t need it right? She had a home here, in this house, with these people, right? So then why did her thoughts scream run?  
“Your feelings are just more fragile than others,” Al had explained to her.  
Maybe that was why she always wanted to run away because her feelings were fragile and she didn’t know what to do when they broke?  
Atsila jumped off the roof landing in the front yard deciding to go for a walk.  
She headed down the road shoving her hands in her hoodie pockets already feeling the cold creep through her.  
‘I won’t be out that long,’ she reasoned with herself as she walked the familiar path.  
She kicked a rock across the snow as she walked thinking about everything that had happened in the last couple of months.  
At first, she tried running away from everyone because that was her normal. Before she met them she never stayed places long. She’d get people to take pity on her so she’d have a place to sleep that wasn’t on the street stay for maybe two days and then disappear. She called all of Seattle home and it seemed like a pretty decent situation. Then she met Delsin, who then introduced her to all the other wonderful people in her life. They called themselves her family. Did she believe them? Were they actually her family?  
Once she realized Seattle didn’t feel the same anymore she didn’t know how to feel. All of these emotions she wasn’t used to just flooded her system. It was so overwhelming that she shut down and again tried to run away to stop feeling.  
She stopped walking, looking about her surroundings. She quickly realized she was on the path toward Seattle. Again she was trying to go somewhere comforting but Seattle wasn't it, not anymore. She just wanted to stop feeling so confused and lost.  
Tears pricked her eyes as she turned the opposite direction looking back the way she had come. Her room was that way, her friends- no her family was that way, her home was that way. And suddenly she was propelling forward on an ice stream as she sped back to the house. She reached the yard, tripped forward as she let the ice stop and ran for the door. She threw it open as soon as she reached it and standing right there was Reggie.  
“Wha-”  
Atsila threw herself at him, hugging him tightly. She only then realized she had tears streaming down her face.  
“Atsila! We were just about to go looking for you, what happened?!” Reggie questioned frantically putting his arms around the small girl.  
Atsila lifted her head sniffing loudly as she looked up at Reggie.  
“Wait is that Atsila? Guys!! Atsila's back!” She could hear Al's voice shouting to everyone. Then she could hear stomping as the others crowded into the entryway.  
“I'm so sorry!!” Atsila wailed, “I kept running off trying to find where home was and I realized I am home! This is my home! And I never wanted to hurt you because you're my family! You're the best god damn family I could ever hope for!”  
Suddenly she felt everyone squishing around her into a giant group hug.  
“I'm sorry it took me so long to realize,” Atsila said softly looking around at everyone.  
“We would have waited however long you needed. You said it yourself we're family.”


End file.
